Gluten For Punishment by Julie Seyler

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Gluten for Punishment: Just Desserts for the Heartbroken, Lovesick, and Jilted by author Julie Seyler

Gluten for Punishment: Just Desserts for the Heartbroken, Lovesick, and Jilted is a wry, heartfelt memoir by baking blogger and writer Julie Seyler, filled with personal stories, dating misadventures, and the desserts that got her through it all…

Julie Seyler’s love life has been a recipe for disaster—and she has the baked goods to prove it.

In this humorous and heartfelt collection, beloved baking blogger Julie Seyler shares stories of love, loss, and everything in between—accompanied by her signature dessert recipes—in one irresistible, gluten-filled volume.

Whether she’s arriving home after an awkward first date or seeking comfort once a promising relationship goes up in flames, Julie knows exactly where to turn when things go awry: the kitchen. And after three decades spent dating a cast of brooding, complicated Gen X creatives, her recipe box is overflowing—even while her bed remains empty.

From frustrating flings with the emotionally unavailable to an unflinching exploration of the love that lingers after tragedy, Gluten for Punishment is a wry and honest reminder that while relationships are rarely predictable, a sweet ending always awaits in the kitchen.

Praise:

“This brave and intimate memoir reveals that the recipe for lasting love lies in self-love and resilience.”

“I devoured this book. Intoxicated like a child after trick-or-treating, shoveling down candy as if each piece might vanish.”

Rustic Rosemary Bread Recipe

A loaf of rustic rosemary bread

Two-Bit Story:

My elementary school was two houses and one side street away from my home, which meant I walked home from school  each day and, if school was out at 3:05,  I was often home by 3:10.

One of my strongest “getting home from school” memories was my hand on the screen door handle, waiting to pull it open, and smelling the yeasty goodness of fresh bread wafting from the kitchen and down the hallway to my nose.

The best outcome would be opening the door,  tumbling down the hallway into the kitchen, and finding my mother slicing a thick piece, loading it up with lashings of softened salted butter before she handed it to me.

In contrast, some days my mom would tell me I needed to wait.  The bread was baked,  the smell just as alluring, but the loaf hadn’t yet had enough time to cool.  Couldn’t she slice it hot?  Wouldn’t that make the butter melt even better?  Couldn’t I blow on the slice to cool it down enough for eating? Why was she torturing me? Whatdya mean I  have to wait another 45 minutes?!

With my baker’s mind,  I understand now.  Slicing freshly-baked warm bread is okay,  but slicing it hot from the oven is not.

When a loaf first comes out, the crumb is still setting. The starches have gelatinized in the oven, but they need time to firm up as they cool.  Slicing too soon can sometimes make the interior  gummy or doughy because the structure hasn’t stabilized.

Steam is still moving through the loaf. A fresh loaf is full of trapped moisture. If you slice it early, that steam escapes unevenly, which can make the crumb sticky in places and dry in others. Slicing while hot can compress those delicate air pockets you worked so hard to create.

And flavor is still developing. The malt, toasted crust notes, and grain flavors become clearer as the loaf cools.

When I cooled this particular loaf, it began to sing and continued its song for an hour.  Bread “singing” is when the loaf cracks and pings as it cools and it’s a characteristic of a crisp, thin crust. It’s caused by the crust cooling and contracting while moisture and heat are still escaping from the interior. A thin crust can fracture into tiny cracks as it contracts, producing those little tick, ping, crackle sounds, resulting in a crust that has crazed.

I don’t often achieve “singing” because my typical dough is enriched in some way, usually with butter or milk.  Hearing the pings and cracks for sixty minutes was so satisfying that I didn’t mind having to wait an hour before cutting in (shards of crisp crust flying in all directions), slathering it with butter, and sprinkling it with French sea salt.  It was worth the wait.

Two-Bit Recipe:

Rustic Rosemary Bread

This recipe produces a flavorful, rosemary-scented loaf with a thin, crisp crust.


Ingredients

  • 4 cups (500 g) bread flour
  • 1⅓ cups (325 g) warm water (105°- 110°)
  • 2 teaspoons instant yeast
  • 2 teaspoons kosher salt
  • 2 tablespoons fresh rosemary

Directions

  1. In a stand mixer, using a dough hook, mix all ingredients together on low until a shaggy dough forms. Increase speed to high and mix 5-7 minutes until dough is smooth and elastic and you can perform the window pane test. Place in a lightly oiled bowl, cover, and let rise about 1 hour or until doubled in size.
  2. Gently punch down and shape into a loaf or boule. Cover and let rise again for about 45 minutes. During this second rise, preheat oven to 425°F. Place a baking stone or sheetpan in the center of the oven during the preheat as well as a cast iron skillet on the lowest rack.
  3. Just before baking, using a sharp knife or bread lame, slash the top of the loaf. Place loaf in oven on the baking stone or sheetpan, add hot water to the skillet and quickly shut the oven door so the steam doesn’t escape. Bake undisturbed for 15 minutes, open the oven door and carefully remove the skillet.
  4. Bake an additional 30-40 minutes until the loaf is deep golden brown and the internal temperatures reaches 200 to 210°F. You can also test doneness by tapping the bottom of the loaf. It should sound hollow. Place on a cooling rack and cool at least an hour before slicing.

Join Me September 12 for a Book Discussion and Desserts

If you’ve read Gluten for Punishment: Just Desserts for the Heartbroken, Lovesick, and Jilted or have been curious about the stories and desserts behind it, I’ll be discussing the book on Saturday, September 12 at Fair Trade Long Beach.

Gluten for Punishment book discussion with author Julie Seyler on September 12

We’ll talk about the book, the strange territory where food, heartbreak, memory, and humor collide, and whatever (or whoever) else the conversation decides to drag into the room.

And because discussing a book about dessert without actually serving dessert seems fundamentally wrong, I’ll be baking a selection of treats from the book to share.

Saturday, September 12, 2026
5:30 – 7:30 PM
Fair Trade Long Beach
4105 N Bellflower Blvd Unit B
Long Beach, CA 90808

Whether you’ve already read the book, are somewhere in the middle, or simply want to come for the conversation and something sweet, you’re welcome to join us.

I’d love to see you there.

Additional Upcoming Events:

Upcoming Events for Author Julie Seyler and food Memoir Gluten for Punishment