Best Compost Cookies

Everything Cookies

Last week, a male reader questioned a slang word in one of my posts – “mansplaining.” He hadn’t heard the term.  Merriam-Webster describes mansplaining as, “what occurs when a man talks condescendingly to someone (especially a woman) about something he has incomplete knowledge of, with the mistaken assumption that he knows more about it than the person he’s talking to does.”

Some men consider the term to be a sexist Feminist word describing a non-existent phenomenon.  I am here to assure my male readers that mansplaining exists.  I’m not asserting that women don’t do something similar to men or that men and women don’t do it to each other – but mansplaining is a specific type of behavior perpetrated by men that, at one time or another, most women have experienced.

The larger category of behavior would be categorized (for men and women) as “talking out of your ass.” Example:  A childless woman, who has changed exactly 3 diapers in her life, telling a parent of 5 children the best way to change a diaper = talking out of her ass.  Within the larger “talking out of your ass” category is the subset “Mansplaining.”  It’s real, it happens…trust me on this.  My ultimate mansplaining story:

A male friend tried to “educate” me on what it’s like to have a menstrual cycle. Yep – I. Swear. To. God.  Kudos to him for reading one article about the female body.  High five for learning words like “follicular phase” and “luteal phase,”  however,  knowing the words doesn’t mean he will ever understand what it’s actually like to have a cycle until he’s experienced – oh, I dunno, 12 a year for 30+ years.

I’d never be so bold as to tell him what it’s like to have an erection – no matter how many articles I’ve read or how close I’ve…ehem… been to the experience.

Not all men mansplain.  How do you know if you’re a mansplainer? If a woman responds to your explanation with, “You DO realized I have a degree in (fill in subject here)” [and you don’t] or “Were you aware (fill in subject here) has been my CAREER for the past 10 years” [and it’s not your career] or even a “I’m familiar with (fill in subject here) since I’ve been doing it since I was 12.” [and you’ve only read about doing it], then…you are a mansplainer.  But there’s hope – the first step is admitting it.

This recipe is an ode to non- or recovering mansplainers in my life.  You deserve a cookie – a rock-star of a cookie like these Compost Cookies.

Best Compost Cookies

  • Servings: 18 – 20 Cookies
  • Print

All my favorite cookie flavors – plus some surprises – packed into this version of Momofuku’s famous cookie.

Ingredients

  • 1 ⅓ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder
  • ¼ teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • ⅔ cup packed light brown sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon light corn syrup
  • 1 egg
  • ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
  • ½ cup mini chocolate chips
  • ½ cup toffee bits
  • ½ cup sliced almonds
  • ½ cup shredded coconut
  • ½ cup Graham Crust (see below)
  • ⅓ cup old-fashioned rolled oats
  • 2 ½ teaspoons ground coffee (not instant)
  • 2 cups kettle potato chips
  • 1 cup pretzel thins, roughly broken or mini pretzels

Directions

  1. In a small bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda. Set aside.
  2. Combine the butter, sugars and corn syrup in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and cream together on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the egg and vanilla, and beat for 7 to 8 minutes.
  3. the speed to low and add the flour mixture. Mix just until the dough comes together, no longer than 1 minute. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula.
  4. Add the chocolate chips, toffee bits, sliced almonds, shredded coconut, graham crust, oats and coffee, and mix just until incorporated, about 30 seconds. Fold in the potato chips and pretzels. Don’t overmix – try to keep the potato chips in large chunks.
  5. Using a ¼ cup measuring cup, portion out the dough onto a parchment-lined sheet pan. Slightly flatten the tops of the cookie dough domes. Wrap the sheet pan tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 8 hours, or up to 1 week. Do not bake your cookies from room temperature—they will not bake properly.
  6. Heat the oven to 375°. Arrange the chilled dough a minimum of 4 inches apart on parchment- or Silpat-lined sheet pans. Bake for 18 minutes. The cookies will puff, crackle and spread. After 18 minutes, they should be very faintly browned on the edges yet still bright yellow in the center. Give them an extra minute or so if that’s not the case. Cool the cookies completely on the sheet pans before transferring to a plate or an airtight container for storage.


Graham Crust

A fancy version of a graham cracker crust. You can use your own version for the recipe above if you prefer.


Ingredients

  • 1 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs
  • ¼ cup powdered milk
  • 2 Tablespoons sugar
  • ¾ teaspoon kosher salt
  • 4 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
  • ¼ cup heavy cream

Directions

  1. Toss the graham crumbs, milk powder, sugar and salt with your hands in a medium bowl to evenly distribute your dry ingredients.
  2. Whisk the melted butter and heavy cream together. Add to the dry ingredients and toss again to evenly distribute. Eat immediately, or deploy as directed in a recipe. The crust is easiest to mold just after mixing. Stored in an airtight container, graham crust will keep fresh for 1 month in the fridge or freezer.


Compost Cookies

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