While picking through the ruins of our relationship after the tornado hit, I discovered a little jewel of realization within the rubble. I sat in my home, day after day, feeling lost with nothing to do and nowhere to go, wondering what happened to the life I had BEFORE him. What happened to my hobbies? What happened to my interests and my passions?
What I discovered was that my hobbies and interests had become merely habits and, when I was presented with something new and interesting, I easily pushed the yoga and the gardening to the side to follow his hobbies and interests. Now, with this new hunk of time on my hands, I’m attempting to discover what my passions are now. It’s going to take some experimentation and some trial and error – and some big strides outside of my comfort zone.
Over the past few months, I’ve fallen back into my love of cooking, but with a twist of focusing on gelato and canning. I’ve also started attending a ceramics wheel-throwing class, something I have never done before. I’m trying not to get too tied up in the results, but enjoying the process (of getting very messy and learning something new).
So, with my newly found ceramics “skills” (using that term loosely), here is my very first bowl from my very first ceramics class:
I’ve been told that I need to close the chapter of my life that included him. It may not have a sufficient ending, like an unfinished Franz Kafka story, but I must move on regardless.
So, I turn the page and I stare at a blank piece of paper. What can I say about the protagonist? She’s emotionally beaten and bruised, weary from her struggles (wary as well). Cynical? Yes, but there is a little glimmer of hope that sparks within her still.
What does she do next? The online dating appears to be going nowhere. She receives emails almost every day but, the men that seem to have fallen for her live on another coast – or even in another country. The men that seem mutually compatible fizzle out before the first date. The ones she sees and say, “maybe perhaps,” don’t respond to her emails.
She needs a diversion. But what? Her work, right now, is as disheartening as her love life. And her hobbies bore her. And her friendships are close to nil. What is her next step? How does she move on?