Tag Archives: love

Where’d you go?

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I broke down and looked at his new profile again.  I feel so stupid, weak, and pathetic.  I even made a fake profile for myself so he couldn’t see me looking.  Can you say “stalker”? This is not me.

P.S. – no one has contacted him this week on the site. 🙂

I need assistance on this journey back from hell, so I bought myself a present this week, a book  called “Getting Past Your Breakup:  How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You.”

I know, terrible name, like “Women who love men who hate women” or some other such nonsense, but the book is actually highly recommended – and the 60 or so pages I’ve read so far have assured me that 1) I’m not crazy 2) I don’t need to be medicated 3) all of these feelings are normal and 4) I am not alone. Whew!

I read a section last night called Pining and Searching.  Bingo! See above stalker moment.  The book says that “after any loss, the mind tries to put the world back the way it was. If someone or something is lost, there is an impulse to look for that person or thing…Pining and searching is the low point of grief…a normal and natural part of the grief process whereby the mind tries to suspend reality and restore things to how they were earlier.”

That’s it.  I’m trying to stay connected.  I’m trying to restore the un-restorable. It’s normal, no matter how crazy it feels to me.  The book also says to tolerate the desire to pine and search, but do not succumb.  So, I’ve got to work on that part. Damn Google – you make it so easy!

They book stresses an environment of NO CONTACT (NC) – including no searching, which is a form of contact, even if only one-sided.  An old boyfriend of mine said he was able to disconnect after a breakup by envisioning the other person as dead.  Following that lead, I went so far as to write an obituary for a long time boyfriend in an earlier post.  Maybe that’s what I need to do again – If he’s dead, there’s no reason to search.

At least, I have not driven by his house.

What my sister got me to do today…

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The email she sent me:

Perhaps you need to go completely out of your comfort zone and try something really radical. I’m a member of this women’s blog and received this email:

“Dear friend,

An award-winning TV producer has again invited our members to help it cast captivating—and love-minded—singles for a new docu-series on a major network.

If you know a 25 to 48-year old single, who is attractive and together, with or without children, and isn’t interested in going on a “reality” show, but is ready to find real love, write to xxxxx@gmail.com

You can also forward this to the special single you have in mind.”

Crazy I know, but then again, why the hell not. You can be shown to be the attractive, high-powered executive with an exciting travel life that you are, and rub a certain someone’s nose into the fact that you’re out there looking for love seriously and that you mean business. :-p

I say look into it.

The email I sent them:

Someone on a dating site recently told me, “You’re the 1%” – and I don’t disagree.  Sometimes, I wish I was one of the 99%, because it would make dating a heck of a lot easier (not that I’m better than anyone else, I’m just different).   I’m emotionally stable, quick-witted and creative.  I can hold down a job (Corporate Event Planner for 10 years) and I own my home.  I practice yoga, have a cat named Kafka, write a blog and have been known to read books on quantum physics for fun.  I attended (and graduated from) culinary school in 2009 – not as a career move, but because I love food.   I’m looking for someone who also falls in that 1% – and it’s a tough job.

I’m 44, live in xxxxx, I’ve never been married and I don’t have children.  I’m the youngest of three sisters – none of which have been married – and it’s about time to break the family curse.