Rosemary Beer Bread

Rosemary Beer BreadGenerally, I ignore social commentaries and political remarks from nescient soap-box orators on Facebook – as the saying goes, opinions are like assholes…

However, yesterday I saw three re-posts from a “friend” on FB that started with his defending his right to fly the confederate flag (fine, you are allowed your ignorant beliefs) and grew increasingly hateful and racist.

Usually I would roll my eyes and move on, not wanting the drama, but I realized that doing nothing is the equivalent of condoning his comments. So, this morning, I posted the following:

“The confederate flag is part of our imperfect history and as such, should be discussed in history classes, used in Civil War re-enactments and displayed, in the appropriate context, in museums. It should NOT fly over government buildings. It is a reminder to some Americans of a painful and unjust past (and present). The Nazi Swastika is also part of “history”. Should government buildings fly that flag as well? I believe in everyone’s right to free speech – if you want to defend the confederate flag on Facebook, I won’t stop you. If you want to make stereotypical racial slurs about African Americans and Welfare, have at it. You prove that we are still a country divided. However, I will un-friend you immediately as I am not “friends” with bigots and racists. Peace Out!”

It feels energizing to dissent in my own small way; to say “this is not okay with me.” I exercise that courage in my career, but seldom in my social realm. In honor of my “uprising,” I’m baking super-easy, super-quick, beer bread.

Rosemary Beer Bread
Makes 1 loaf


3 c. All-purpose flour
1T. Baking powder
¼ c. Sugar or Brown sugar
½ t. Salt
1 T. Fresh rosemary
12 oz. Beer
3 T. Butter, melted
2 t. Flaky sea salt


Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a loaf pan (I used butter). Combine flour, baking powder, sugar, salt and rosemary. Make a well in the center and pour in beer. Mix with a wooden spoon until combined, but do not over-mix. Pour batter into prepared pan. Drizzle butter over dough and sprinkle with sea salt. Bake for 45-55 minutes until bread is golden and sounds ‘hollow’ when tapped with a finger. Cool for 10 minutes in pan, turn out and cool until slightly warm on a cooling rack.


Dave Smith would like to be your friend on Facebook®

When it comes to Facebook®, I’ve found that there are two types of male friend requests:

The First – the innocuous Facebook® Friendship:

Him:    “Hey Phoren, haven’t seen you in ages.  How are you doin’ these days.”

Me:      “Dave, great to hear from you.  I’m fantastic – went to culinary school recently, still living in XX and working at XX.  How about you?  What’s up in your world?”

Him:    No reply or a pat one-line response about living, working, marriage and children.

This is the end of our conversation. We are now “Facebook® Friends.”

The Second – the “I want to get in your panties again” Facebook® Friendship:

The conversation begins the same, but instead of fizzling out after one or two exchanges, he keeps the momentum going.    In fact, if I don’t respond, he’ll email again.  He doesn’t post on my wall;  he sends private messages.  He’ll remind me of the fun we had in the past, finding out the details of my life, discovering if I’m single or in a relationship until the point when he can “casually” ask me out.

I’ve had a few of these.  I’m experiencing one of these right now.

You are Blocked

I’m having a Facebook dilemma.  A majority of my FB friends are friends with me because of him.  While I did un-friend him almost immediately, I did not do so with his friends.  I like these people (whether or not I will ever see them again) and I don’t want them thinking I’ve no need for them anymore just because he dumped me.

The problem is that I have a clear insight into his life through his friends’ posts.  I see his responses to comments, I see photos of him at his shows (looking really good),  I see photos of him at art galleries and invites for him to a wedding WE should have attended.

Part of me is curious (I won’t deny it) – that “searching” part that doesn’t want to let go of him and our lifestyle. But then, when I see him or something about him, my heart sinks.   I know what I have to do:

I need to block their posts.  I need to block their posts.  I need to block their posts.


Days since I’ve contacted my ex:  25

Days since I’ve searched for my ex:  5

What I’m grateful for:  The readers of this blog that continue to offer me support and encouragement.  Thank you – I hear your words!