Kindly keep your assessments to yourself

Last month, I received a comment from a reader named Luka who wanted to “warn” me about the culinary school I will soon be attending.  It seems that her experience was less than ideal – in fact, in her eyes, it was “a disaster.”  My initial reaction was to attempt to brush her assessment off, but, in reality, her review of the school hit me in the pit of all my fears.  Did I just make a huge mistake? I was affected to the point that I considered canceling my trip; forfeiting both my tuition and airline ticket.

I DETEST myself for this reaction – trashing my dream based on one review from a stranger whom I know nothing about.  This school came recommended from a fellow culinary student who currently runs a flourishing restaurant.  Whose opinion, really, should I rely upon?  I write this post tonight as a challenge to my hesitations regarding school and my approaching experience.   It may be that Luka is 100% correct and this will be “a disaster,” but one person’s folly can be another’s life-shaping moment.

So much of  an experience is fashioned from our expectations and perceptions.  I wonder, exactly, what she was imagining when she states the school depicts the accommodations as “a fine hotel overlooking the sea in a popular resort town.”    That is not how the accommodations are described (at least in my reading). To me, they sound “utilitarian,” with the sparse amenities of work desk, telephone, TV with remote control (living large!), in room ironing press and hairdryer.  This is a Mobil 3-star hotel.  Three stars in America equals a Holiday Inn – In Italy, it’s a crap shoot and should be regarded as such.  All I need is a bed (sans bed-bugs).  I spent an amazing week in Tuscany living in a 14th century farmhouse – with spiders the size of my thumb and a wasp’s nest in the old hearth.  I’ve spent fondly-remembered weeks in a yurt without electricity, a reliable lantern, or heat – and with a communal bathroom about a half-mile away.  Everyone else in my group was snuggled cozily in the main house while I gladly chose to make my home in the yurt.  If I had not, I would never have been an arm’s length from deer grazing outside my door nor would I have seen the swath of Milky Way when I had to pee at 3 a.m.  in the cold, brightly lit night.

Luka goes on to say that, on some occasions, she lacked hot water or heat in her room.  I have dealt with both – neither left me with irreparable damage and, in fact, my current home is without heat in the bedrooms (an odd design flaw I didn’t notice until after the mortgage was signed). She talks about the location – “a deserted resort town with not a soul around and the nearest functioning town a $20 taxi ride away.”  The wifi was only available sitting in the unheated lobby and then… “so slow it was almost pointless to use.”  I thank her for that tidbit as it’s good information to have – sounds like I can leave my iPad at home and make room for my “good” camera – there must be plenty to photograph in a deserted, crumbling, sea-side town.

Should I go on?  She comments that the chef required the students to address him as “Chef”. He was condescending, treated the students badly, threw tantrums, and served family meals of poor quality.  The students were worked hard and sometimes didn’t taste the results of their labors.  Welcome to the culinary world!  This school isn’t a “cooking vacation” – nor does it profess to be.  This is a school for “advanced culinary professionals” which means most of us have attended culinary school where our Chef (yes, you DO call the instructor “Chef”) most likely was condescending and threw tantrums.  I’m not saying this behavior is appropriate or professional, but it is fairly standard.  Wait until you’re working the line in a kitchen – one needs to grow thick skin (or balls), ignore the dreadful behavior and cull the education you need from the presented material.  Cooking isn’t for sissies.

Luka goes on to say that this Chef “is not the teacher for young impressionable kids. Like the 20 somethings that attended.”  Maybe that’s just it! It probably isn’t the school for coddled, 20-something kids whose parents paid for them to go to Italy and play at “cooking” in between partying at the Italian disco and lazy afternoons on the Calabria coast, never far from their iPhone and wifi.  I’m neither 20-something nor am I looking for an Ibiza experience in Calabria – I want to learn how to make gelato, in Italy.

I don’t mean to be hard on Ms. Luka.  She expected one experience and decidedly found herself with something quite different.  I’m not even annoyed that she felt a need to press her experience on me – I’m sure she believed she was doing me a good turn.  I am, however, furious at myself for allowing her slant to darken my expectations. I will love it or hate it,  and, even if she is accurate and I do hate it,  it will not kill nor scar me – and it will be a wellspring of splendid stories that I can share with you here…once I’m back home, where there’s wifi (grin).

A day in the life…

My laptop clock currently reads 6:13 p.m.  My flight doesn’t land until 9:30 p.m.

It’s Thursday. At least, I think it’s Thursday.

Once, it was Sunday; I worked all day.

Insane Monday in the office, ceramics class reprieve at 6:00 pm (the last one).

Tuesday 4:45 a.m. alarm

Airport is bustling by 8:30 a.m., security line is short

Prepackaged turkey sandwich and an orange juice in my bag

Five hour flight + 3 hour time change deposits me on the ground at 4:30 p.m.

Hotel check in

Nibble on cheese plate – Welcome!

7 p.m. nugget of pleasure wrapped in a spa treatment

Bad room service food, too much chocolate and sleep by 9:30 pm.

Best sleep in weeks

Wake up call at 6:30 a.m.

Cup of coffee, hunk of day-old bread left over from the cheese plate

Meeting at 8 a.m.

Meeting at 9:30 a.m.

Run to my room; 5-minute luggage packing

New hotel check in

10:15 a.m. meeting

11:45  a.m. meeting until 5:15 p.m.; no food

Scurry to my room, lipstick and powder, grab a mini ham sandwich  on white from the concierge display

Shove it in my mouth waiting for the elevator

5:30 Meeting,  I have to eat. chickpea fritters appetizers, a glass of wine and a bit of cheese

6:30, lie about a 7 p.m. conference call to get away. I am fading. Can’t smile and make small talk anymore.

Spongy  white cupcake with sickening sweet frosting and sprinkles whisked from the concierge display

Bite one, yuck.  Bite two, gulp and gone before I’ve reached my room

Warm bath, ahhhhh, just 10 or 15 minutes

Unpack/repack

Answer emails

Room service cheeseburger ,  Makes me sick

Fall asleep, TV and light still on

Wake up an hour later – wide away, unable to fall back to sleep.

Benadryl doesn’t help, remote control timer doesn’t help, lying in the dark doesn’t help

Fall asleep, 2 a.m.

6 a.m. wake up call blasts my room.

Decaf coffee, packaged white powder creamer

Airport shuttle at 7:30 a.m.

Catch up on email over a Pain du Chocolate while sitting in a sticky,  plastic chair

10:00 a.m. flight, nod off to sleep, head bob wakes me up

Arrive at 11:00 a.m., new city, more meetings

12:00 meeting until 3:45 p.m.

4:00 p.m. shuttle for a 6:10 p.m flight

Dry Chinese chicken wrap and OJ for the flight

Too tired to think of work.

Delayed plane, one hour

Pray for 5 hours of sleep on plane

Can’t sleep, do work

My laptop clock currently reads 6:35 pm. My flight doesn’t land until 9:30 p.m.

Sigh.