Let’s face it, I need to get laid. I need it soon…in fact, actually, I need it right now. It’s been almost a year and I’m so randy, I’m making stupid romantic choices. Practically exploding with desire, I’m considering sleeping with people I would never, never, never typically allow past my thighs. As I type this, I’m simultaneously email flirting with “Dave Smith.” Dave Smith and I didn’t end well the last time – he doesn’t deserve the time of day. Granted, the sex was HOT, so, so HOT…wait a minute, this is what I mean! Dave Smith = Bad Choice. No Dave Smith, no frosted-hair Asian, no Lawyerly, no Echo (even though he IS exceedingly cute). My pent-up hormones aren’t allowing me to think straight!
The dating profile I’d like to write: I need a clean, normal, attractive guy between the ages of 37 and 52 for a long, sweaty night of passion so I can think with my brain again. Multiple orgasms are required; a follow up date is not.
* I was looking up a synonym for “horny” and found “concupiscent.” What a great word for desperate, hard-up and sexually manic. Just call me concupiscent.