Let’s face it, I need to get laid.  I need it soon…in fact, actually, I need it right now.  It’s been almost a year and I’m so randy, I’m making stupid romantic choices.  Practically exploding with desire, I’m considering sleeping with people I would never, never, never typically allow past my thighs.  As I type this, I’m simultaneously email flirting with “Dave Smith.”  Dave Smith and I didn’t end well the last time – he doesn’t deserve the time of day.  Granted, the sex was HOT, so, so HOT…wait a minute, this is what I mean!  Dave Smith = Bad Choice.  No Dave Smith, no frosted-hair Asian, no Lawyerly, no Echo (even though he IS exceedingly cute).  My pent-up hormones aren’t allowing me to think straight!

The dating profile I’d like to write:  I need a clean, normal, attractive guy between the ages of 37 and 52 for a long, sweaty night of passion so I can think with my brain again.  Multiple orgasms are required; a follow up date is not.

* I was looking up a synonym for “horny” and found “concupiscent.”  What a great word for desperate, hard-up and sexually manic. Just call me concupiscent.