Tag Archives: sleep

Insomnia

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Sunday night, I pull my tennis shoes from the back of the closet, motivated to fit in a good walk before work on Monday.  Backup plan – I load my 30-minute workout DVD just in case the weather’s nasty.  I’m prepared to start Monday off healthy and full of energy!

I head off to bed at 11.  I cannot sleep and lull myself towards slumber by reading.  The magazine falls from my grasp at midnight.

I’m up again at 2.  Why am I awake?  Was it these crazy dreams I’ve been experiencing?  No more Sci-Fi channel.  I get up, go pee, stumble back to bed. Tossing and turning, I try to find a cool spot on the mountain of pillows.

3:30, what was that noise?  Two loud bangs and a scraping sound.  That wasn’t late-night kitty shenanigans!  I turn on my bedside lamp and wait…all is quiet. Please, let me sleep.

At 5 a.m., the lamp is bright in my eyes.  I click it off and peek through the drapes – daylight’s fingers are turning the ink just slightly paler.  I hear the rain outside the window.  I have too much energy, and try rocking myself back to sleep. I eventually succeed.

It’s 6:30 and the sky is an aluminum grey. The traffic noise is picking up.  The alarm will go off soon.  My head hurts, my eyes are heavy, my limbs feel drugged.  No exercise for me this morning.  I reset the alarm for 30 more minutes.  Sleep, I need more sleep.

7:30 and the alarm sounds.  I’m lead.  I’m just this side of dead.  I drag myself out of bed and towards the caffeinated elixir.  Shit, another Monday morning.

Late Night Ramblings

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It’s late, very late, yet I cannot find sleep tonight.  In the hallway, just outside my bedroom door, I step over a sleeping cat to retrieve my laptop.  My stomach is doing somersaults tonight.  I’m perplexed as to why.  Perhaps too much richness tonight – wine and cheese and chocolate?  My evening diet is usually light after days of indulging at school.  Maybe I’ve upset the balance.  I will make myself a cup of ginger tea soon enough and hope sleep comes quickly.  My upset stomach has infiltrated my brain and my mind is restless.  It is spinning over the relationships scattered in my life that don’t have a defined purpose or category – her, him, him, as well as her and him and don’t forget them.  There are many – tenuous connections to others who cannot be defined as ‘friend’ or ‘lover’ or ‘foe’ yet influence me in a million tiny ways.  They are part of the richness of my life.  Ties I do not want to sever – I do not wish to uproot.  Is this wrong, these unconventional connections I establish?  Why must relationships be unambiguous and neatly labeled?  How much easier life would be if I could arrange them all neatly in rows, lined up until needed.  Life, fortunately, is not so neat and tidy.  And so, I nurture these weeds and volunteer roses in my life’s garden, knowing they can bring me as much delight as those specimens purposefully planted.