Late Night Ramblings

It’s late, very late, yet I cannot find sleep tonight.  In the hallway, just outside my bedroom door, I step over a sleeping cat to retrieve my laptop.  My stomach is doing somersaults tonight.  I’m perplexed as to why.  Perhaps too much richness tonight – wine and cheese and chocolate?  My evening diet is usually light after days of indulging at school.  Maybe I’ve upset the balance.  I will make myself a cup of ginger tea soon enough and hope sleep comes quickly.  My upset stomach has infiltrated my brain and my mind is restless.  It is spinning over the relationships scattered in my life that don’t have a defined purpose or category – her, him, him, as well as her and him and don’t forget them.  There are many – tenuous connections to others who cannot be defined as ‘friend’ or ‘lover’ or ‘foe’ yet influence me in a million tiny ways.  They are part of the richness of my life.  Ties I do not want to sever – I do not wish to uproot.  Is this wrong, these unconventional connections I establish?  Why must relationships be unambiguous and neatly labeled?  How much easier life would be if I could arrange them all neatly in rows, lined up until needed.  Life, fortunately, is not so neat and tidy.  And so, I nurture these weeds and volunteer roses in my life’s garden, knowing they can bring me as much delight as those specimens purposefully planted.

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