Softened

I’m dating a new guy and I’ve been feeling uncertain about our longevity.  He’s not my typical ‘type’.

A tire blew on my car on the freeway at 9 o’clock last night.  It was harrowing waiting for the tow truck, alone, in the dark, with cars whizzing by at over 60 mph.  I took care of business (single girl self-sufficiency) with Highway Patrol, AAA, tow truck driver and taxi, but found myself spent and exhausted this morning for ‘Part 2’ – getting to the tire store and ordering a new tire, waiting for the repair and, finally, driving to work.

New guy offered to help – and, contrary to my typical stanch self-reliance, I agreed. He left work and drove 30 miles to my house, picked me up and shuttled me to the tire store.  He waited with me and, when we discovered it would be over an hour before the car was ready, drove me another 20 minutes to work – in the opposite direction of his.  It felt comforting to be taken care of, for a change.

This is the kind of guy I should want in my life.

About two years ago, after lunch with my then-current boyfriend (my Ex), we left the restaurant to find my car with a flat.  My Ex added air to the tire and then had me drop him back at work.  From there, I was on my own.  I ended up driving to a few tire stores (on a leaking tire), finally spending a few dead hours at Costco waiting for my repair.  It probably took four hours start to finish.  The whole ordeal left me feeling deserted by him.  And just a few months later, he did desert me.

Today, my heart softened.

Decision Time

source: somecards.com

source: someecards.com

Dating Translation

We could go see a movie:  innocuous night spent hand-holding in a darkened theater with a post movie make-out session.
Or
You could come over and watch a movie: let’s roll around, sweaty and naked, in my bed!

I’m seeing him again on Wednesday.  He gave me these choices.  It’s been a very long time since I’ve “come over to watch a movie” – a very, very long time.  I really need to come over and watch a movie – in fact,  I need to watch a dozen or so movies.  I think that’s why I haven’t been sleeping well.  If I mess this up, I may not get a chance to come over and watch a movie again for a while, but yet I hesitate.

I agreed to go see a movie – not to come over, yet.  My body says “YES! Right now!” but my mind wants to wait.  I’m concerned that I’m postponing for unrealistic reasons, waiting for a certain someone to come around –  who never will.

p.s. when TG asked me what I did this weekend, I told him the truth – I went on a date.  Suppressing what looked like surprise, he didn’t ask questions. It probably hurt me more than it did him, but he looked like I had just punched him in the gut.