She is sitting at the bar in her sexy new dress, waiting and furtively glancing at the door. He walks in. Her heart sinks. He’s as she remembers him from their first date – tall, a little dorky with an uneven goatee. “Do guys still wear goatees?” she wonders. All of the parts are there – tall, dark hair, glasses and an artist – but somehow they don’t fit together in a way that makes her heart flutter. They sit down for dinner and, as he stares at her blankly, she tries to think of something to say. “What did you do today?” she asks. Blah…blah…blah is what she hears. How could someone so creative be so dull, boring and monotone? She tries to get a bottle of wine as quickly as possible to numb herself. She gently leads him towards a good bottle. He orders ravioli and she, gnocchi. He’s never heard of or seen gnocchi before. She doesn’t want to be a food snob, really, but she is stunned that he’s never even HEARD of the Italian dumplings before tonight. After dinner, he asks her to join him for drinks. She wants to make her get-away, but thinks it would be rude to dine and dash. He is a gentleman…a perfect gentleman…a perfect boring gentleman…a perfect boring one-note gentleman…a perfect boring one-note gentleman with absolutely nothing in common with her. She tried – and it was a resounding failure. She misses her old life, with the man that she loved.
I just got your message from last night. I didn’t hear my phone ring. Thank you again for Saturday evening. You are a true gentleman. After going out twice, I’m sorry to say that I don’t feel there’s enough of a connection between us to take this into anything romantic. I’m not feeling the chemistry that needs to be there. Good luck with your search (and your upcoming shows).
I’ve been away – far away, practicing yoga and sleeping in a yurt in Montana. I needed a break, some time to regroup and renew. I wanted to think about things – big life-changing things and not so big things; just lots of things.
I came to a decision about my posts – one of those “not so big things”. You see, I’ve reduced their quantity. I’ve marked all of the boyfriend posts “private”. It’s time. He’s no longer just some guy in my life – he’s important – and I would never want him to be hurt by the discovery of my silly musings. If I can’t tell him my thoughts about us, I shouldn’t be telling you. He deserves the most respect I can give him now, even if that means a less interesting blog.
A certain guy has been on my mind all day. I smile every time he comes into my thoughts.
He sent me a picture yesterday. I’ve placed in on the corner of my computer screen to alleviate my need to visit my email box every few hours for a look.
I’m smitten. He’s adorable – well, adorable by my standards, which probably aren’t the norm. I’m attracted to tall, skinny guys with glasses – if they happen to have a visible scar, so much the better. This guy is tall, skinny with glasses – he’s also funny, smart and creative – in a word, adorable.
I don’t know how he feels about me – probably reason numero uno he’s on my mind so much. We met briefly and we’ve been emailing inconsistently since. He’s been on the East Coast for a holiday visit, but, from my perspective, his trip has been interminable. In actuality, it’s only been 2 1/2 weeks. He’s coming home this weekend. Finally!
I want him to ask me out on a date – break this uncertainty. On the other hand, this uncertainty breeds my desire. There’s been times Ihave met someone who made me think, “wow!”, only to be disappointed with the reality. I think everyone does it – we fill in the unknown with our own suppositions of this person’s character to meet our desires. The reality is much less attractive.
But I want to know him – I cannot remain in this grey area much longer. My impatience is strong. Ask me out, damn it!