But not in a Hippie Vein

I’ve been talking online with someone for about a month – yep, I think it started right around Valentine’s Day.  Out of all the profiles I weeded through, his was the only one with a photo that caught my eye and with a profile that matched my own.  It started out with:

“I am not ‘normal’ or a ‘type’. I think the best definition is that I am a free spirit, but not in the hippy vein.”

Love it – promising start.  I think we emailed over 40 times back and forth.  Red flags?  Well, he seemed a little “sporty” for me – pictures of him mountain biking, fly fishing (which I’ve learned to love), rock climbing and skiing.  Also,  almost every photo showed him with a wedding ring – so, divorced or separated, but recently so (Do I REALLY want to get involved with another one of those right out of the gate?!) Just looking for something easy and light – someone to meet for a drink – so it’s all okay.

We emailed back and forth, things going along well.  He was out of town…and out of town…and out of town.  First it was Denver and Colorado Springs, then Phoenix and Tucson, then the California desert. He came back for a couple of days (when I was traveling) then off to the desert again. Yes, he could be lying about the whole thing, but he seemed sincere.

He was due back on Monday; he said we could get together this week.  I haven’t heard from him.  He hasn’t been online in over a week – with anyone.  Sometimes I just don’t understand.  I know he could have his own reasons for toying with me – maybe he is FRESHLY out there and he just wants to get used to the concept of dating or maybe something I said turned him off or maybe he wasn’t attracted to me in the first place but was just being “nice” by emailing.

I don’t know – and I guess I shouldn’t care.  One thing I learned from that book, “He’s Just Not That In to You” is that we make excuses for men.  My sister said my ex “just got scared” and that’s why he broke it off.  I think Mr. Free Spirit here is just testing the waters.  It doesn’t really matter, does it?  Guys will do what they’re going to do for no reason other than they want to do it that way.

I’ve un-“favorited” him.  He can find me, if he wants to.


Days since I’ve contacted my ex:  13

Days since I’ve searched for my ex: 1

What I am grateful for:  That I can order a double-tall-skinny-vanilla-latte and no one looks at me cross-eyed.


Photographic Memory

Why did he have to send me that damn photo?  I haven’t been able to get him out of my head since – and, again, his emails have gone quiet.  He’s still traveling – supposed to be back tomorrow – but I can’t imagine he doesn’t have a fucking iPhone or something similar.  By his own admissions, he’s a computer geek.  Reality Check Time:  What did that book teach us, you know the one…if he’s not calling, if he’s not asking you out, well…he’s just not that into you.  Move on.

But what happens if I’m into him?  Now, what do I do – wash that man right out of my hair?  I know the strategy – stay busy, don’t think about him.  Much easier said than done.