Some Privacy, Please…

I’ve been away – far away, practicing yoga and sleeping in a yurt in Montana.  I needed a break, some time to regroup and renew.  I wanted to think about things – big life-changing things and not so big things; just lots of things.

I came to a decision about my posts – one of those “not so big things”.  You see, I’ve reduced their quantity.  I’ve marked all of the boyfriend posts “private”.  It’s time.  He’s no longer just some guy in my life – he’s important – and I would never want him to be hurt by the discovery of my silly musings.   If I can’t tell him my thoughts about us, I shouldn’t be telling you.  He deserves the most respect I can give him now, even if that means a less interesting blog.

Too Available?

It this the end of this blog…or is it merely writer’s block?   I haven’t written but two posts this month.

Things with the guy have been going well – until this weekend.  It wasn’t necessarily a bad weekend, just mediocre.  I was bored – and I felt he was bored, too.  It all seemed a bit perfunctory. We didn’t have much to talk about and we only spent Saturday together.  We’ve been making it a habit of at least two nights together.  It’s Monday morning and I find myself desiring his usual company, if only physically.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I haven’t made myself too available to him.  The first month we were dating, he’d ask me out for the following weekend during our date. In December, he started asking me out for the weekend by midweek.  Now, I’m surprised if I hear from him by Friday afternoon.  Yes, I HAVE been relying on him to plan all the dates, something he’s not necessarily comfortable with.  We talked about that this weekend – seems his ex-wife did ALL the planning. You can call me old fashion, but it’s just something I feel the man should primarily do.

I don’t want you to get the wrong impression – he’s not a prick.  In fact, he’s always sweet to me; always a gentleman.  We haven’t had a fight – we haven’t even become snippy with each other. This weekend, however, we just seemed a bit bored with one another.

A huge part of me wants to “fix” the problem – explain my “needs”, invite him over, cook him a good meal and give him one memorable blow job, but the other part of me thinks he may just need some space – and trying to fix it may feel like smothering.  Of course, being a woman, “Ms. Fix-it” won out this morning.  I’ve invited him for dinner at my place followed by the art walk downtown.  I wonder if he’ll like that…me asking, I mean.

Until next weekend, I guess.