The other day, I accidentally stumbled upon a photo of an ex-boyfriend. Fucking Facebook. My heart immediately jumped into my throat, my nerves felt jittery and I got a little flushed. “What the heck is this? Why is my body reacting this way?” I wondered.
I extricated myself from this man’s web years ago, processed the damage, recognized the situation for the disaster it was, and moved on. I dealt with that shit. Today, I don’t care what he’s doing, nor do I care who he is doing it with, or where he’s doing it.
My reaction on seeing his image, made me wonder, “Am I harboring some sort of unprocessed emotion? What the fuck is going on?”
It seems this is an automatic response from my body and entirely normal. It doesn’t matter what my head tells me, my body is going to do its own damn thing. This reaction is my fight or flight response. It is the same response I would experience if I came face to face with a lion. My autonomic nervous system’s way of telling me, “Danger, bad situation ahead!” Even though it was just a photo, my body was saying, “Girl, you do not want to go there!”
So, my reaction was automatic and nothing I can influence. My shit with him is processed, I am in my right mind, and my body is just doing its job.
If this ever happens to you, just acknowledge it and then let it go, which is exactly what I’ll do next time – rather than Googling the feeling to see what it was, ruminating on the flight or flight response and relationships, and writing this damn blog post about it.
However, now at least I know I cannot control what my body does in this situation. I can only control my reaction to it, and that reaction should be to acknowledge it, keep scrolling, and then…Let. That. Shit. Go.
Rice Pudding Tart with Rum Raisins
Creamy, cinnamon-scented rice pudding dotted with rum-soaked raisins encased in a sugary cookie crust.
- 1 cup uncooked Basmati rice
- 1 ⅓ cup all-purpose flour
- 5 Tablespoons sugar
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
- ½ cup (scant) golden raisins
- 1 Tablespoon dark rum
- ½ cup sugar
- 2 Tablespoons (generous) cornstarch
- ¾ teaspoon cinnamon, plus more for dusting
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- 2 large eggs, well-beaten
- 2 cups whole milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Sweetened whipped cream
- Make Rice: Rinse rice and place in a small saucepan with two cups water. Bring to boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for about 15 minutes until tender. Set aside rice in a bowl to cool.
- Make Rum Raisins: In a small bowl, combine golden raisins and rum. Heat in a microwave for one minute, stirring once. Set aside.
- Make Crust: Preheat oven to 350°. In a medium bowl, combine flour, sugar, salt, and melted butter. Pat dough on the bottom and up the sides of a 9” tart pan. Bake about 25 minutes until golden. Remove from oven and cool.
- Make Rice Pudding: In a medium saucepan, whisk together sugar, corn starch, cinnamon, and salt. Whisk in egg until no cornstarch can be seen. Add milk then cooked and cooled rice.
- Place saucepan on medium heat and bring to a simmer, whisking constantly. Simmer until pudding is very thick, similar to the texture of thick oatmeal. Take saucepan off heat and stir in rum-soaked raisins and vanilla extract.
- Scoop rice pudding into pie crust and cover with plastic wrap, ensuring the plastic wrap makes contact with the pudding surface to avoid a skin. Chill at least two hours. Decorate with sweetened whipped cream and dust with cinnamon. Let tart stand at room temperature for about 15 minutes before serving.