46 Percent

One of the first blogging rules I learned was…

  1. Decide on a topic and stick to that topic. If you want to cover other topics, start a different blog.

I haven’t followed that rule and, depending on when you became a follower, you may have experienced a very different blog.  Five or six months ago, I was sharing the ugly, psychotic truth about the breakup that brought me to my knees.  My followers were bloggers dealing with their own relationship crises.  Lately, and completely unintentionally, my blog has turned to the lighthearted – recipes and canning and gelato.  As the clouds of depression cleared, I found myself  playing in the kitchen once again and following my bliss – and my followers have also changed to those who enjoy the culinary arts.

The second blogging rule I learned was…

  1. Write for yourself (or “write  like no one is reading”)

I’ve wanted to write about the following for a while, but I’ve been concerned my “foodie” followers are going to think this post has come out of left field.

I’m a member of a dating site that, in addition to a photo and a profile, includes a romantic compatibility percentage that’s based on questions we’ve answered.  Although I don’t rely on this compatibility scale completely, I have definitely ruled out those that don’t hit at least 70% compatibility.   I believe a couple should have a good set of shared values and interests to make a strong, connected, relationship – kindred spirits, so to speak. If we’re on opposite sides of the fence to begin with, it’s only going to get worse.

Unexpectedly,  a few months after we broke up, I found my ex on the same dating site.  For most of the time, I’ve kept his profile hidden.  In the past month, it hasn’t bothered me so much and I finally un-hid him.  His profile came up in my search the other day.  Surprisingly, our compatibility is a dismal 46%. 46 percent?  This was the man I loved, the man that seemed perfect for me, the man I could picture growing old with.  46 percent?  We never fought; we always seemed to have the same views – we had (I thought) a great relationship.  Who was this man?  How much did he keep hidden from me?  What was he really thinking while shaking his head “yes” in agreement to my observations?

Seven months ago, I thought I would never get over him.  I thought I was ruined forever and I had my one shot at happiness. Each week, it gets a little easier (with big thanks to the Wellbutrin).  This most recent discovery just helps a bit more to dislodge him from my heart.  I deserve better – I deserve more than 46%.

4 thoughts on “46 Percent

  1. *smiles*
    I like your first rule about deciding on a topic and sticking to it in the blog. But like you, I find I fail at this at times. I TRY to stay on topic, but I know at times I go off on some wild tangent

    Rule number 2 – Write for yourself … or like no one is reading. HIGH-5!! I totally believe this. I admits, since starting a blog myself, I find that the feedback is very rewarding … and I know find I too have some that follow my oft times inane ramblings.

    However, when I started this, my intent was really to write for myself … a version of writing in my journal so to speak. I find when I write, it helps me to organize my thoughts …. or more often than not, as a catharsis to whatever ails my mind or heart.

    (Actually, when I first joined this site and was not sure how it worked, I went though a tutorial..one thing it said was to figure out what your object of blogging was …to inform…about a particular subject…who your audience was. I tossed all that out and decided….I am writing for me. If along the way I find people reading it…and better still, make friends along the way, then … then writing for myself will have accomplished more than what I set out to do. *smiles*)

    As for your blog, I love seeing the couple of food entries that I have stumbled upon … but I love the fact that you do write on more topics when you feel the need. People are not one-dimensional…or one-topical (yes…I made that last term up!) No … people are complex…and interesting. If you don’t mind … I might want to go to some of your past blogs and read a bit … thank you for your great posts (and sorry for my SUPER long comment!)

    Like

  2. Oh oh…ack…leaves another response..

    As to the dating website and your ex. Well … not so much about the ex (though I am glad you are starting to be doing better…and…you are on Wellbutrin…uhmm…Lexapro here!)

    Uhm..what was I saying….errr

    Oh oh ~ dating website. Not sure which you speak of…but at my work place, a lot of people I know have met their mates there…I think I know at last 5 co-workers who met and married their spouses….so I say if it is something you feel comfortable with to see if its for you..then yeah you!

    Like

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