Vulnerability and Distraction

I don’t think I can do this.  Why does this dating thing need to be so difficult?  We had a great weekend together.  He said he was happy.  He introduced me to his friends – they gave me “thumbs up”.  This week, however, things seem off.  We have vague plans for tonight or tomorrow night, nothing that he’s confirmed and I haven’t heard from him today at all.  In the beginning, he was making plans to see me again during our dates. Now, it’s a “Maybe Wednesday or Thursday – I’ll let you know.” I’m checking my email obsessively.  I’m the one suggesting activities now.   Am I really going to cancel my Thursday yoga practice for this?

A little more research showed me his profile isn’t down, as I had thought (boo!).  It’s just down to me.  He’s just hidden it from me, but not from the rest of the dating world.  That stings.

I can’t be this vulnerable.  It hurts too much.  I’m spending too much of my time thinking about him.  I hate when I act like a girl.  Friends say I’m tough. If only they knew the truth.

I like him, a lot.  That’s a rare reaction for me, but I can’t do this any more.  I need to give him his space.  He obviously doesn’t feel the same as I do.  I need to focus on my work, on my yoga, on anything but him.  God, I hate this.

Editor’s note:  He finally sent me a text at 2 p.m. today.

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