The guy and I are going away this weekend.  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  I’m not sure that I feel anything at all.

I don’t want to say that…maybe what I should tell you is that I saw the film Before Sunset last weekend and it affected me more than a cute love story should have – and in the wrong way.  It’s left me melancholy and yearning for…something; I’m not sure what.  I perhaps see too much of myself in Celine; the woman that she’s become and her style of  relationships.  The story was a little too real for me.

He tells me he could see our relationship going somewhere – not this week or this month, but a little later.  I was musing over that this morning.  At this point, I can’t even fathom a future – any future. We’ve gone out a half-dozen times.  How can you tell, after perhaps 30 hours, that the person next to you is a good fit?  I need 30 weeks – maybe even 30 months – to figure that out.

Yes, I’m going away with him this weekend.  He’s smart, he’s funny, he treats me well and he seems to be able to take care of himself.  Of course he’s messed up – aren’t we all, but in the good way that I like.  Nevertheless, once again, I seem to have one foot out of the door – or my hand on the doorknob, just in case I need to make a quick escape.  He wants me – wants to see me during the week, more often and longer on the weekends; he wants sleepovers.  I’ve put him off so far, tentative.  Is that what I am – a tentative lover?  I don’t want to be that.

We’re going away this weekend – and we’ll see how it goes.


2 thoughts on “Getaway

  1. It could be that you are in fact a tentative lover. I don’t know. But I do know, without question, that if this man knocked your socks off, you would be diving in with both feet. Don’t settle. Wait for a great man. Wait for a great man to be a part of a great relationship.

    I have just begun blogging and it is all about what woman need from a great man. Take a look at it. It might help you to know what you should expect from a man.



  2. Not that I’m any great resource for picking the perfect man :: heh, you just have to read my blog to figure that out! :: but I can tell you this:

    1. The person you “fall in love with” usually isn’t really that “person” at all.. we fall in love with men when they are all into woo-ing us and doing those special things that make us go “awwww!!” and then fast forward and they seem to have been body-snatched!!!

    2. I never believed this before, but you DO know the right person when you meet them. For all the crap that I am going through with my husband and his kids and the crack whore that is his ex-wife, I know deep in my soul that we belong together.

    I know I’ve just contradicted myself but really, isn’t that the essence of love right there???

    Oh.. and one more thing before I get knocked off my soap box .. one doesn’t know HOW to be in a good relationship if they’ve never BEEN in a good relationship. HA! How’s that for contradictory!!

    Best of luck to you …


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