To sex or not to sex – that’s my dilemma. Why is there such a disparity between what my mind knows I should do and what my body wants to do? I’ve made up my mind ten times on what I want to do next – and find myself thinking just the opposite five minutes later. One of the first difficulties is the “in the moment/out of the moment” paradox. When I’m outside the moment, I can rationally weigh my actions and consequences. He doesn’t know me, I don’t know him and I’m aware that this attraction is swirling pheromones and chemicals, having nothing to do with lasting connection. I know waiting is better – allowing time to establish a true relationship and not a faux bond based on the physical. It avoids “weirdness”, I’m less likely to be lied to – to be played, and I won’t feel the morning-after shame. What if I don’t really LIKE him? But…then I’m next to him, alone, and I want. I want to touch, I want to kiss – I want.
It’s like drinking – when you’re sober, you know when to stop, but once you’re drunk, you’ve lost your ability to say ‘when’. What’s a girl to do?