To sex or not to sex

To sex or not to sex – that’s my dilemma.  Why is there such a disparity between what my mind knows I should do and what my body wants to do?  I’ve made up my mind ten times on what I want to do next – and find myself thinking just the opposite five minutes later.  One of the first difficulties is the “in the moment/out of the moment” paradox. When I’m outside the moment, I can rationally weigh my actions and consequences.  He doesn’t know me, I don’t know him and I’m aware that this attraction is swirling pheromones and chemicals, having nothing to do with lasting connection.  I know waiting is better – allowing time to establish a true relationship and not a faux bond based on the physical.  It avoids “weirdness”, I’m less likely to be lied to – to be played, and I won’t feel the morning-after shame.  What if I don’t really LIKE him?  But…then I’m next to him, alone, and I want.  I want to touch, I want to kiss – I want. 

It’s like drinking – when you’re sober, you know when to stop, but once you’re drunk, you’ve lost your ability to say ‘when’.  What’s a girl to do?


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