Bring Back Mr. Whipple

Is anyone else irritated by the current Charmin commercials?

The first commercial that bugs me is the one that states Charmin “doesn’t leave pieces behind”. The first time I heard it, I was in the kitchen chopping vegetables and not watching the TV. I thought “pieces” meant pieces of shit. I practically chopped off my finger – “What did they just say?!!” It took an actual viewing of the commercial to understand what they meant – but still, do you really need to sell TP by telling consumers your product won’t stick to their ass?

I also hate the “kids always take too much” commercial. First, if kids ALWAYS take too much, then it doesn’t matter if Charmin is more absorbent and you need less – because kids ALWAYS, regardless of absorbency, take too much. Also, the premise that kids always take too much is a sweeping generalization. I’m sure there are plenty of parents out there that taught their children how much toilet paper to use to get the job done – I know my mom did. Can I also talk about stereotyping for a minute? First, you have the kids ALWAYS taking too much demonstrated by the child bear scooping too much ice cream on her cone, then you have the hovering, over-protective mother bear who “always knows best” saving the child bear from an imminent ice cream mishap only to have silly poppa bear taking too much as well – proving once again that mom is the only practical, sensible, adult in the household.

What marketing genius comes up with these things – and, better yet, which P&G executive thinks they’re a good idea?

OK….if I’m perfectly honest, it also scares me a little bit that I’m writing a post about toilet paper commercials.

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