Blue Monday

I’m sitting here at my desk, staring unblinkingly at my computer screen.  My eyes burn from the harsh glare and a restless night.  It’s so hard to sleep after a shift at the steakhouse.  My fingers leave grease-marks on the keyboard.  I’ve liberally lubricated my digits with Bath and Body Works Wild Honeysuckle lotion – an unsuccessful attempt to massage the aching pain in my hand.  I’m not sure why my hand hurts these days – is it the beginning of arthritis or just a normal consequence of an unfamiliar grip on my chef’s knife?

My door is shut – today, I prefer this silent cocoon to the chatter outside this room.  My lack of sleep has left me emotional and fragile.  I haven’t heard from him.  I’ve concluded that he’s not interested.  I’m disappointed – I wanted to know him better.  I think we’d be a good fit.  However, it takes two.  On top of that, a good friend, who emails daily, has gone quiet on me.  It’s quite odd – one minute he was talking to me…and the next he was not.

Today, I feel Abandoned.