Today, you get a rant and a recipe…

The Kafkaesque idiocy of city government is highlighted today as I run an errand I’ve been rightly avoiding for 14 years. I’m visiting City Hall to pick up guest parking permits, an easy sounding task. When I enter the drab 1960’s lobby, I grab a ticket from the machine (similar to what you do at the meat counter). There are only three people in front of me for parking permits – perhaps this will be easier than I imagined? I wait. And wait. And wait. While I wait, I wonder what government policy requires a homeowner to personally visit City Hall to obtain temporary parking permits. Americans bank online, pay property taxes online, buy and sell every commodity imaginable online and yet, I’m required to physically visit a building midday (which, if I was still working, would mean taking time off work). I don’t blame the city worker behind the counter for the molasses-slow process, although she’s admittedly moving at DMV employee speed. Each resident seems entirely confused by what they need, each carrying a large packet of information to the counter. This shouldn’t be this difficult. Finally, after 40 minutes of waiting, my number is called – “D2035 at Desk #19.” When I get to the counter, I’m asked to write down my name and address. I wonder what the city does with these handwritten forms. Transcribe them into electronic documents? Save them for seven years? Track permit request traffic flow? By this time, I just want to Kaizen the shit out of this place. Then, I’m asked for my driver’s license, a utility bill, and my car registration:

City Employee (Looking at his computer): “Who is Enrique?”

Me: “He was a previous owner (Who sold the house in 2001!)”

City Employee: “Who is John Woodman?”

Me: “He was the owner who sold the property to me (In 2003!)”

City Employee: “I can give you the temporary permits today, but next time, you need to bring in the Grant Deed to your property so we can update our records.”

So, City Hall needs a copy of my Grant Deed from 2003 (14 years ago!) to update their records so I can get temporary guest parking permits? Oh, and by the way, I need to go back in October to get a new set of permits for next year.

Don’t make me go back…please. Here’s an hour of my life I’m not getting back.  I hate pointless time-suck errands.  What a waste of an afternoon.  I need a sweet treat.  This recipe helps take me back to my happy place…