The other night, I was strolling through Bed, Bath and Beyond, picking out some new curtains for the home office.  I was walking through the aisles when…

 “How do we dance when our earth is turning, how do we sleep when our beds are burning”…

 I caught myself singing Midnight Oil from the store’s Muzak. Elevator music?  I’m singing elevator music?  Chagrined, I clamped my lips closed and shuffled into the Bedding section, furtively looking to see if anyone had heard.  Who am I – some middle-aged frumpy housewife singing stodgy canned music?  Nope, not me.  It was a momentary slip up. 

A few minutes later…

 “Pulling mussels from a shell…”

Again?  This time it’s Squeeze.  Sheesh, what’s with me?

In Decorative Pillows, I’m bellowing out lines from David Bowie’s “Ashes to Ashes”.  My foray into the store extends longer than expected as I be-bop from one department to the next singing to 80’s flashbacks and buying more items than the drapes I came in for.

The next evening, I find myself pushing my cart past the frozen foods in my neighborhood grocery when…

“Tempted by the fruit of another…”

It’s Squeeze and I’m singing – again.  Then it dawns on me…

I’m not hip – and 80’s flashback is not hip.  This is no accident.   I have become “THE TARGET CUSTOMER”.  I am the consumer these stores are pandering to.  “Stay in our store and relive your youth”, they whisper.  I’m the reason Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life” sells ocean cruising and the Cure’s “Pictures of You” is used on camera commercials.  Have you heard Sia’s version of The Church’s “Under the Milky Way” on the Lincoln car commercial?

I have turned into my parents.  My generation is buying the houses and Lincolns and taking cruises to the Bahamas.  Gen X is dead – Gen Y and the Millennials have usurped us.  My days are past – and now, I should be happy to push my cart through Target and sing to the Muzak’s “Pretty in Pink”.