Merriam-Webster defines integrity as “the adherence to moral and ethical principles, soundness of moral character and honesty”. My definition of integrity is keeping promises, following through on commitments, being dependable and “walking the talk”.
When it comes to integrity, I hold myself to high standards. I consider my level of integrity to be a leading character strength for me. I believe I know right from wrong and I am committed to doing the right thing, even if it’s not always pleasant. I try to be honest and straightforward.
Yesterday, I came to the realization that my integrity is not as high as I would convince myself it is – at least, not when it comes to one particular person. My actions are rarely in this person’s best interest, I break commitments consistently, I’m not dependable when it comes to my promises; I lie.
If you haven’t already guessed, that person is me. I don’t have self-loathing and I don’t place all others above me, but I’ve realized that I allow myself leniencies in commitments that I would never abide in a relationship with someone else.
I commit to doing something beneficial for myself, get lazy and let it slide. I put things off, I procrastinate and I make excuses. Should a friend treat me thus, I would be quick to distance myself, but, in this instance, I allow it.
It disturbs me to acknowledge this weakness of character. Can I remedy it? Will it make a difference? I truly don’t know.