Earlier this week, I was blog surfing and crashed upon a post concerning the 80/20 rule of relationships. I wasn’t aware of this term. Supposedly, we all have a “checklist” in our head of the characteristics of an ideal mate. This post went on to say that we should be content with finding someone who possesses 80% of the criteria on our list. We are foolish to look for 100%. Apparently, many of us are caught up searching for that last 20% – finding that missing percentage in someone else and casting aside our current 80%-match mate for that other person. Ultimately, we are disappointed because this new person only fulfills 20% of our list. It becomes a never-ending cycle.
Do we all really have that permanent checklist? Yes, I’m sure I could arrive at a list today, but my list is going to be strongly influenced by my last relationship. Fresh in my mind, I can rattle off exactly what I want and don’t want in my next one, but are they really my core ideal-mate non-negotiable items?
Let’s say I come up with ten items. Of those, how can I decide which two are negotiable? If honesty is one of my ten (which it is) and I entangle with someone who has eight of the ten but isn’t honest, is the expectation that I am supposed to look the other way? How does one do that?
First, let me start with my list:
Ten Fifteen Things a Potential Mate Must Have (I couldn’t decide on just 10)
1. Attractive to me
3. Sense of Humor
4. Positive Outlook/Zest for Life
5. Passion for work or hobby
6. Financially stable – not to take care of me, but enough to take care of himself
9. Even Tempered
10. Similar Interests
12. Geographically Desirable
14. Mutual Respect
15. Love Me
Next, let me try to choose the three I could live happily without.