The 80/20 Rule for a Potential Mate

Earlier this week, I was blog surfing and crashed upon a post concerning the 80/20 rule of relationships.   I wasn’t aware of this term.  Supposedly, we all have a “checklist” in our head of the characteristics of an ideal mate.  This post went on to say that we should be content with finding someone who possesses 80% of the criteria on our list.  We are foolish to look for 100%.  Apparently, many of us are caught up searching for that last 20% – finding that missing percentage in someone else and casting aside our current 80%-match mate for that other person. Ultimately, we are disappointed because this new person only fulfills 20% of our list.  It becomes a never-ending cycle.


Do we all really have that permanent checklist?  Yes, I’m sure I could arrive at a list today, but my list is going to be strongly influenced by my last relationship.  Fresh in my mind, I can rattle off exactly what I want and don’t want in my next one, but are they really my core ideal-mate non-negotiable items?


Let’s say I come up with ten items. Of those, how can I decide which two are negotiable?  If honesty is one of my ten (which it is) and I entangle with someone who has eight of the ten but isn’t honest, is the expectation that I am supposed to look the other way?  How does one do that? 


First, let me start with my list:


Ten Fifteen Things a Potential Mate Must Have (I couldn’t decide on just 10)

1.  Attractive to me

2.  Intelligent

3.  Sense of Humor

4.  Positive Outlook/Zest for Life

5.  Passion for work or hobby

6.  Financially stable – not to take care of me, but enough to take care of himself

7.  Honest/Trustworthy

8.  Liberal

9.  Even Tempered

10. Similar Interests

11. Humble

12. Geographically Desirable

13. Chemistry

14.  Mutual Respect

15.  Love Me


Next,  let me try to choose the three I could live happily without.


1 thought on “The 80/20 Rule for a Potential Mate

  1. Pingback: Chemistry or Commitment? « Phorenications

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