Last week, I spent a long evening (and into the next morning) talking with a dear friend and her sister. Both my friend and her sister are married with children – I am not. Sister has been married for close to 30 years to the same man and my friend has been married for about seven to her current husband. The image they portray (and the world portrays) is that their life is complete, settled, better, and correct. The truth of the situation (and I think the truth for the married world in general) is that they are unhappy, struggling, searching, and frustrated. I didn’t realize how much they suffered until our talk.
They were astonished to hear me proclaim, “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rate a usual day as a 7.5 to 8”. In general, it seems to me that married folks look down on us single folks as missing something. I don’t feel that way. My life is complete, fulfilling and open to possibilities. It’s not perfect, but it’s damn good! Committing to a marriage is a lot of work – daily work that can be exhausting and unfruitful unless both partners are committed to the same degree.
At the end of our talk, both women agreed that they’d rather have my life. I was shocked to hear them say that. I thought they were happy and their normal soccer mom life (although not so appealing to me) was what they wanted. The choices I’ve made have always seemed sound to me, but I’ve always wondered if I was missing out or if I was putting a positive spin on a less-than-ideal situation. No more! I’ve had some validation for this crazy single life I lead.